Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize