Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
