Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
