I haven't been this sober since birth.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
