her vagine was all disorganized.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
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Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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