The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize