So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
