do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
