I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
When are your genitals available?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
