My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
