Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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