I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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