I wish i was in the wii world.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
