i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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