His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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