And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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