you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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