ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
dude. I can hear the air.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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