i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize