we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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