Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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