This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize