Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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