discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize