i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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