he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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