the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
