that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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