So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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