Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
