I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
