I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
