I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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