turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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