you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
