Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
