The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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