Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
