Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
