Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
