Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
