I haven't been this sober since birth.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
