A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize