There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
