i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
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You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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