good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize