I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.