just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize