so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
