i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
