Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize