Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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