U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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