They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
