Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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